Flagpole Death ponders

How many previews does a musical get before it's not technically a preview anymore? For example: Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark has had over 180 previews! I feel like all the people that have any interest in seeing this musical have already been to at least 3 of the "previews." So what happens on opening night? Will anybody be there? The purpose of a "preview" is to be exclusive, yet it seems Spider-Man has completely ignored that principle. Now, the only people that want to see the show are those hoping to see a cable break in the middle of the performance. Come to think of it there is no need to hope, because chances are pretty good to see an "accident," which no longer seems like an accident, a falling acrobat now seems more like it's part of the show. THAT'S IT! Bono knows society loves nothing more than seeing other people in pain, which is why Spider-Man has had multiple so-called "accidents." Spider-Man's poor track record is what gives the musical publicity; therefore providing an increase in ticket sales! Ahhh it all makes sense.

I recently heard that Oregon is going to outlaw the sale of suicide kits. WHAT THE HELL? (no pun intended) http://yhoo.it/iQrBF9

Why does it always seem China is out of wack? A story came out today that Chinese Scientists plan to modify cows in order to produce human milk (http://bit.ly/mMai1e). The only enjoyable possibility from this would be to watch an infant feed from a cow utter. I mean come on...that's a funny image. But seriously. I feel like China is always trying to prove themselves. Too bad every birthday fun-pack I get is always filled with crappy toys "Made in China" (Yes, I still attend kid parties. Fun-packs are better than morning hangovers). If China wants to prove themselves then they need to start with their party favors. The day I receive a reliable whoopee cushion "Made in China" I will then trust their cow milk cloning method. Don't act like you don't agree

Finally, New York has decided to place a tax on lap dances (http://bit.ly/lHww3h). That's awkward. Does that mean strippers have to start providing change to customers? Probably not, but I would like to hear the conversation between the guy that asks the dancer for his change.

Dancer: "Alright that will be $99.88"

Horny man: "Awww mann...All I have is a $100 bill, do you have 12 cents?"

Sincerely,

FPD